Saturday, November 29, 2008

They sure know how to have fun in Winnipeg

This is old news, but new to me. If there was ever incentive to take the bus, this is it. Best bus ride ever.


Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Linds and Ty turn me onto most new music that I hear/like. I went without FM radio for years when I drove the Volvo. In the new rig, I have FM and, let me tell you, I've learned I wasn't missing much. G & R has a NEW album? How the hell did THAT happen? FTR - I love G & R. I'm ashamed to admit it, but it's true. Not all of it or in a "I listen to it every day" kind of way, but I still listen to Estranged at least once a week, workout to Coma and will probably give Chinese Democracy a run through. Do you still want to know me?

I also know, instantly, if I love or hate music. There's no in the middle, "it'll grow on me" crap with me.
So Linds got the new Killers CD (her teacher left school and went and picked it up for her - how cool is that?)...she reported that I'd hate it. "It's 80's music Mom - you hated the 80's, remember?". Yes, I did in fact (for the most part). But I rather liked this CD and one song has really stuck with me.....I'm going to try and put the video up but it seems that YouTube's being an ass again. It's "Kick YouTube" day today, did you hear? Not to make light of the recent KAGD that had some kids beat up for no reason at all but, seriously, I want to post videos. Anyhow, my kid's a (fake) ginger - so I think it's stupid and am officially changing that day to kick a telephone pole with flip flops on.

Anyhow, I have Goodnight, Travel Well on repeat and that's the gist of this post. And, as I usually do, I'll play it for 18 days straight until I can no longer bear to hear it anymore.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I don’t watch Wheel of Fortune anymore
I don’t go to garage sales
I haven’t watched a tennis match without you
I hate curling again
I had no one to phone when the WF was on
And when the Canucks beat the Flames, the Wild and the Red Wings (again)
I forget all the jokes and card tricks you showed me
Holidays aren't special anymore
Dad’s digging up MORE of the yard
There are few family poker games now
I wish I could hear those damn annoying “know who used to live here?” stories that I heard 8 million times just one more time
Everytime I see something pretty that lights up I think of you
I keep hearing your favorite songs. I’ve never heard Red River Valley or Wabash Cannonball anywhere before in my entire life...why (the fuck) now?
I’m dreading Christmas (without you)
I miss you


Sunday, November 16, 2008

Hey, hi. Sorry?

Never here, despite my repeated promises that I will be. Not that it's a life shattering thing for anyone when I'm not - just that I don't like to neglect my friends. But, somehow, I still do.

I'm flitting around, doing my thing. Lots of sports this time of year. On hockey forums. Football. Banned from one. (How was I supposed to know you can't say F*#@'n douchebag?) Geez.

I have not been out for a ride for ages....miss that too. I really don't know what I do with my time, just know that lately it flies by. Too fast...I feel like my life's passing me by and....nothing. Like it's almost Christmas? Is it really? How did that happen?....I was just getting into my summer groove.

I guess this is what happens when you get older. You just wait for time to stop moving so quickly. To stop moving. But, when it does, it's over.

Too deep.

I have a sweet friend at work who I've known since I started. She comes in every day - her son first, then her. They do breakfast and then come over to buy (a lot) of lottery tickets afterward. I really like them - they're down to earth, good people.

I always knew they'd had a rough past - not exactly sure...just knew it had something to do with a drunk driver - they'd mentioned it in passing. But I don't pry...our conversations have been very superficial and breezy...the "hi, how ya doin'?" type.

But Friday, as Millie and I stood there talking, I noticed that she shuddered as a siren screamed past. And she opened up to me, for the first time since I've known her. It's greatly affected me and I can't get her words out of my head:

"I hate that sound. It takes me right back there" she started. "My husband was killed by a drunk driver. I was left, on my own, to raise 4 boys. So I moved out here from Alberta and started over, on my own."

I remember her telling me that she used to live by my Dad's place. I always wondered if I'd known them when I was young and just didn't remember.

"One night my twin boys came in after dinner and asked if they could go down to the river....stay out an extra hour because it was their friend's birthday. It was getting dark, but I said o.k. I was looking out the window, doing the supper dishes when I had a sinking feeling that something was wrong. I thought about my boys and wanted to go out and look for them, but shrugged it off. "Aw Millie", I thought. "Don't be silly, they're fine.". But they weren't. A short time later, I heard sirens" she paused.

"It was my boys."

She put her head down and I put my hand on hers on the counter. What do you say to someone? "I'm so sorry Millie". There are no words.

Her two twelve year old sons - killed. The sirens kept coming she said. But they were already dead...just like their father a short time before them. Her husband and then her sons. Another drunk does that happen to one family? It was a woman who lived in their complex. She had to face her after that.

Millie's a tough little gal, but she teared up as she told me. So did I. And then she shifted gears, back into small talk and she left. But a piece of her stayed with me.

I'll NEVER feel sorry for myself again. Leaky pipes? Whatever. Place that's falling apart? It's nothin'. Some people have endured more pain than is survivable. Is that even a word? If not, it is now. For Millie.

"You're a strong woman Millie. Stronger than I'll ever be".

The glass is half full my friends. If Millie's is, ours is too.
I'm out there, just flitting around, trying to put the pieces of this life together.


Monday, November 03, 2008

There is something going on in the apartments across the street - loads of firetrucks/emergency vehicles over there. Is it wrong that I immediately grabbed my camera and ran out to the sidewalk in my socks to take pics? Don't answer that...yes, there is something wrong with it. Anyhow, if it was anything serious and my help was needed, I'd put the camera down. Damn, now my socks are wet.

Maybe they just follow me home now and prepare for my mishaps...."Oh...uh, she's inside and she's handling electrical stuff again. Brace and be ready!" (Glad to know they're nearby in case I explode again.)

So it was the Mum in law's birthday today and I took her out for lunch before work. We sat next to a fellow with an accent (Mum thought it was an English accent like hers - turns out he was from South Africa). She gets overly excited when she meets someone from "home" and immediately starts pointing out words that they say differently (correctly, according to her). It was cute though...she's been widowed for some time and to see her get all giddy was quite amusing. He was a really nice chap, a retired biochemist - we talked to him (and his son) for an hour or so. Mum was flirting and I could see that she didn't like that he was giving me most of the eye contact/attention. I think he recognized me as he's bought tickets at my booth before...but I let her think it was because I'm younger/prettier. Birthday or not, I've gotta keep my edge.

One thing she and I have in common is our inability to "move on"...we're both stuck and on our own. I can really relate to her and she's become a very good friend whom I respect. Who woulda thunk?...she used to hate me. Now I think she understands me (and the fact that I was an innocent victim in the marriage to her son). He thinks I've corrupted her - pretty sure he's right. But it's funny how the same problems that I had with him are ones that she's now experiencing with him as a son. His moodiness, lack of communication, inability to commit to anything, etc. Of course, there was more to it with us - but it's nice to know that she finally "gets" me. How things have come full she gripes to ME about what he's like and I just say "I told ya so". Anyhow, we giggled afterward at how we seem to draw male attention even though we're not at all looking for it....something in not trying/caring I think.

Well, nothing much to report here...just feel that I should check in more often and not let this place die. I feel a little more inspired lately and my lazy fingers have found the will to type again. I leave you with Lindsay's creation...her pumpkin (completely done freehand and without a stencil or any copying. I think it rocks). Oh yeah, and when I told her about the man and his son, it turns out that she knows him (the son that is). "Was he wearing a Batman ring?". Figures - is there anyone in the city she doesn't know?


Sunday, November 02, 2008

Just for fun I electrocuted myself on Friday night. Yeeha, what a blast (I go that extra mile for Hallowe'en). Damn old garage sale lamp...knew I should've gotten rid of it ages ago (the sucker's gone now). Linds was asleep on the couch and it woke her up...apparently, she thought it was gunfire!!! I'm o.k....takes more than a few thousand volts to take me down (just ask the ex). My hand was completely black but, for whatever reason, I feel no pain - just numbness.

Cross off another of the nine lives....I think that leaves 6.

So last week was hell - I worked an average of 9 hours/day, then came home to dogsit. The dogsitting part was fun, but still demanding of my time which explains why my house looks like a bomb went off. Where did the couch go? For most people, 9 hours/day isn't a big deal but when you don't get any breaks it makes for a long day. I'm pooped - mostly mentally.

The sun's shining today so I'm going to re-energize with a big bike ride because jolting myself just didn't get the job done. Will be back later (with pics).

For now, these are pictures I took (months apart) of a swan family on my ride...when I took the second batch I didn't realize at first that it was the same brood, now, how time flies.

(Click on images to make them bigger...they're MUCH better that way)

Remember these guys?

....well here's the Partridge happy family just two and a half months later)

See how much they've grown? (Just a chip off the ol' block)
" time now kids"......

Then these guys showed up and tried to get in on the fun....

But Mama quickly decides they're getting just a little too close for comfort, so she springs into action....
"Go on, get outta here....."
"and don't come back, ya hear?!?!" (*makes raspberry sounds*)

(and then the kid acts all "tough guy" and copies Mom)...."you heard her, now SCAT!!!"

Up close and personal.....SO cute.

Every family's got one - you know...the kid who craves attention( and will do anything to get it!).
...................the straggler

See ya next year guys. Take care. xo