Friday, September 15, 2006

Drop And Give Me Twenty


I used to be in tip top shape - 110 pounds, blood pressure was 120/80. This wasn't just when I was a teen either, it was AFTER I'd had both of my kids and not so long ago. My doctor and I looked back at my chart the other day to see when I developed hypertension and he reminded me that in 1994 I was qualified as a fitness instructor and probably could've won a fitness "pageant" if I had any inclination to prance and flip and tumble in 80's wear...I didn't, so I didn't.

So what the hell is this leading to? Let me tell you: FF and it's all going to shit. And, in looking back at what happened, I've concluded that my life starting going down the tubes and stress became my middle name at the same time I started giving up on stuff. I'd always worked out....HARD - everything from step aerobics to weight training. In between I'd water ski and play tennis. I was always active and a french fry never passed by my lips, making me "that skinny bitch" that females loved to hate. But, that was then and this is now and I need to regroup. I'm still pretty hot by most standards but, I'm not so happy with my lifestyle. I'm worrying about where things could head if I keep putting everything else before me.

I don't know when I decided to give up on myself but, somewhere along the line, I started to. I quit everything I loved doing for a time (not conscientiously, more that I was being pulled in several different directions and was needed by everyone, all the time). I started on my own diet plan, namely the "Fatkins" diet, which included everything from pizza to cola to whatever I could grab in a hurry. That was a shock to my system...I'd been a health nut my entire life. I wouldn't eat a lot of my new found "pleasures" (poison) - but enough to be concerned that it's a dangerous direction to head in. And I'd often starve all day because I was "busy", then grab anything I could wolf down without having to actually swallow, as I was starving by the time I got around to eating. A bad plan. Usually I wouldn't eat until night, and then I'd make up for lost time. I'd never done that before and I was having a hell of a good time going off the food guide deep end. I think I hit my bottom the morning I was caught eating "breakfast" by my son - it consisted of potato chips and tzatziki dip...."what the hell you doin', Mom?". I just shrugged, as chip crumbs fell off my face and into my lap. I didn't see it as a problem. But now here I am, in my forties and realizing that I want to get back into fighting form. And I'm taking action now, before it becomes a problem (damn it!).

I remember, at the height of my obsession, climbing on my stepper at 2 a.m., Pearl Jam cranked on the ol' walkman. I must've been slightly crazy but I also had endless energy and MADE time for myself. I don't even know what that means anymore.

If there's a lesson in all of this, keep up with some form of activity or you'll be sorry. You hear about "middle age spread" and, let me tell ya', it creeps up on you and then pounces when you least expect it. I'm not going to let that happen. It's very real if you don't do a little preventative work. It's o.k. to "slide" a little here and there but be careful - before you know it you need a personal assitant to help tie your shoes. Personally, I'm not so much concerned about my "appearance", I'm pretty damn good for my age. It's my overall health I worry about. And, although I still look good for my age, I no longer feel like I could wrestle a buffalo like I once did. So time to jump back on the ol' wagon here.I'm starting tomorrow (sound familiar?). No more of this affair with food and procrastination..... I'm going to make "me" a priority and take one hour each day to put something back that's missing in my life. I won't be "Sweatin' To The OIdies", I'll be sweatin' AS an oldie. Wish me luck - hope I live to talk to y'all again. If not, please send help. I'm going to reaccquaint myself with an old friend named exercise....I just hope that she remembers me (will keep you posted).

11 Comments:

Blogger Barbara Bruederlin said...

You will do it.
I didn't start looking after myself until I was in my 40s and all those years of expecting your body to look after itself without any help had taken its toll. It's hard work, but make it a prioiry - no excuses, and lots of great music mixes - and you will get there.
I'm backing you on this.

8:45 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

Thanks Barbara. Definitely - the music mixes are the key. Getting some high energy tunes going usually just makes you want to move right there. I'm a realist - I don't expect (or particularly want) to look 30 again...I just want to "feel" good again. I've felt something "missing" from my life, as I really loved exercising and need to find a way to fit it in again (more as a stress relief than anything else). My fitness instructor taught me a rule of thumb about body image - throw out the scales and measuring tapes. She said stand naked (oh my God - this sounds like a horror movie) and jump in front of a mirror. Whatever keeps moving after you've stopped has just gotta' go. Geeesh, scary.

8:31 AM  
Blogger Barbara Bruederlin said...

That's the most horrifying thing I have ever heard! Obviously boobs don't count in this plan.

1:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can I borrow some motivation?

6:07 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

Hi dusio...sure you can. My plan's been put on hold until tomorrow though, as Mom needed me this morning and then I worked (until now). And my football game is on, so that's my excuse for the moment. I feel like such a fraud - but I'm serious about this....really, I am. I'm afraid to say that, once again, procrastination is the name of the game....motivation is tomorrow's plan.

8:06 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

Barbara...you're hilarious. I'm so tired I missed your comment, thinking I'd already responded...d'oh! How awful of me....apologies!

Horrifying is right. The only thing not still moving (like jello I might add) are my ears, fingers and toes. And those boobs, well they're STILL movin' I think....those suckers just get in the way, that's all.

8:28 PM  
Blogger mellowlee said...

I know what you mean about the energy and making time. When I was all gung ho on the fitness thing, I would work out for a couple hours each day at least, and remember being able to run up that huge ass escalator at granville station. It's freaky that after only 2 years of not working out, and one year off of work and depressed (last winter not being able to get off the couch at one point) how far I have slid. At least I know there is someone I know who is struggling with the same thing. You are an inpsiration to me Deb :)

8:19 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

Thanks Mel...my plan has been altered. I've twisted my knee and am having to start with upper body/light weights. Will kick start things after a few days of resting it. I'm so motivated to "keep the drive alive" - just really didn't need this...I have no patience right now.

9:36 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

(Dusio...I've visited your blog - like it/your thoughts. Unfortunately, though, I'm an idiot and was unable to comment there, as I received "errors" in doing so. So, I'll just keep visiting and remain commentless!)

9:47 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

Yea, well this plan's been put on hold (again). One day, when I finish wading through this water shit.

9:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well I was never as much of a fitness nut as you were. But after watching both my parents die at a very young age, I have reevaluated everything. Healthy eating and exercise is my number one focus right now, believe me. I know how easy it is to pack on the pounds when you are busy taking care of everyone else. Jusdt start a game plan and stick to it!

6:41 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home