Sunday, June 01, 2008

I'm sitting here, wondering if I should post what I'm currently feeling/going through or just ride it out. I'm a talker and, especially when things are rough, I need to talk. It's how I work things out.

It's bad.

Today was fucking awful and I have to process it a bit before I know what's right/wrong.

Let's just say my ex took a huge step backwards in progress that has me scared, confused, angry and, well...devastatated. But really, really fucking angry mostly. I'm shocked by what's happened and I never thought he was capable of crossing lines that he crossed today. Blindsided by it. It came out of nowhere, like a sucker punch. It always did - but usually it was me left in his wake.

Let's just say that a parent should be there to protect their children...try and shelter them from stress, anguish and physical pain. Not subject them to it.

I took a good shot in the jaw today, protecting my kids.

From someone who should never EVER be a threat to them. But was.

I don't know that I'm ready to talk about it (or that it's appropriate). But I also feel that I need to.

I'll be back. What the fuck is with this life?


Blogger Whitenoise said...

Wow, doesn't sound very good. Hope things calm down and work out okay. Best wishes.

8:30 PM  
Blogger Allison said...

I hope everything calms down too Deb. Take care, you're in my thoughts!

11:52 PM  
Blogger mellowlee said...

Hope you're ok Deb!

12:27 PM  
Blogger Barbara Bruederlin said...

It sounds awful. I really hope that things pass quickly.

10:12 PM  
Blogger Barbara Doduk said...

anytime you need to talk, even though i seem like a stranger... i know how important it is to just talk and let it all out... i am a wicked listener.

12:22 AM  
Blogger Phaedra said...

I ditto what Barbara said. For serious. Remeber to breathe, Deb. Hugs.

6:27 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

Thanks, a whole lot.

I'm stronger with you guys in my corner.

12:25 PM  

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