Sunday, June 08, 2008

It's funny how other people can impact our moods, isn't it?

Since the "episode" with the ex (which I've chosen to put behind me and not delve into further), things have kind of unravelled for me. I guess what happens is that it opens up old wounds and thrusts me back into negative feelings about myself. It's taken me a lot to regather my self esteem and convince myself that I'm worth something. I'd actually come to a place where I was starting to like myself and developments this week have me feeling extremely withdrawn, helpless and depressed. I didn't sleep last night.

Not that this is directly about the incident last week (per se)....moreso, how the kids have responded to everything and the aftermath of what went down. I honestly think a bit of PTS has factored in and, well, it's a bit of a weird weekend so far. I feel a bit betrayed and alone.

Is there a full moon too?

Anyhow, I hate being negative...it goes against everything I'm about. But I am rather disconnected, scrambled and feeling fragmented. Like everything's out of synch and I can't focus...my rhythm's been thrown off. I'm going to blast some tunes and do one hell of a workout this afternoon...hopefully that'll recharge my batteries and start to set things right.

If that fails, I'm going to buy a bottle of wine. ;)

I'll keep you posted.

(I know that my blog has become little more than a bitch session, with a few Youtube videos thrown in to deflect away from that. I'm workin' on it folks and promise I'll have more to offer soon. This too shall pass.)

Thanks to those of you who've hung in, despite the whinefest.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Alana said...

Your whinefest is just fine.

I is lonely lately too, lets be lonely together. If it were up to me, I'd be over there whining right along with you, hehe.

<3

7:28 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

Aw, Alana. I get happy when you're here and I miss you.

Loneliness is a cruel thing, isn't it? Sneaks up on ya.

My workout kicked ass though...I really think loud music and some serious kick/punch combos are necessary at times.

Thanks my friend. You have helped me through this crap and I love you for it.

9:46 PM  
Blogger Allison said...

Hang in there Deb, and never apologize for what you write. If it helps get you through a rough time, then that's something, right?

I hope things pick up. Sending out a hug from across the pond!

12:03 AM  
Blogger Whitenoise said...

Hope things are going a little more smoothly!

5:31 PM  

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