Blue
I just got back from the hospital and it was awful...imagine seeing your mother on acid. That's what this brain cancer is doing to mom. Horrible. Heart wrenching. But, I'm shaking it off now. No more whining.
Anyhow, to release this I'm going on the stepper for half an hour, then going to kick some online poker ass. I'm known as wildewoman - for no other reason than I incorporated my name into my username (so I won't forget it). I'll probably be back later because I've also decided I'm going to start drinking again (in moderation) and the bottle of red wine that's been sitting in my fridge will be opened tonight, seeing as how I don't work until 2 tomorrow. I don't really sleep anyhow - doesn't make too much difference what time I work. I'd given up drinking when the ex and I split...his drinking really contributed to the deterioration of things and I'd just had enough of it. Hated it. And, although alcoholism is in my family, I do o.k with booze....for whatever reason I can handle liquor. I'm generally a really upbeat, happy person (with way too much energy), so alcohol just tends to kind of level that out and make me more mellow. Then tired. But I will probably turn into a blabbermouth. Which reminds me...earlier I wrote this huge, gut spilling post and, thank God, decided not to post it. I'm kinda' all over the board right now, remember? But I'm just confused and part of the process when I try and figure things out is to write. I just don't know that this needs an audience. We'll see, I don't know.
Later friends
Anyhow, to release this I'm going on the stepper for half an hour, then going to kick some online poker ass. I'm known as wildewoman - for no other reason than I incorporated my name into my username (so I won't forget it). I'll probably be back later because I've also decided I'm going to start drinking again (in moderation) and the bottle of red wine that's been sitting in my fridge will be opened tonight, seeing as how I don't work until 2 tomorrow. I don't really sleep anyhow - doesn't make too much difference what time I work. I'd given up drinking when the ex and I split...his drinking really contributed to the deterioration of things and I'd just had enough of it. Hated it. And, although alcoholism is in my family, I do o.k with booze....for whatever reason I can handle liquor. I'm generally a really upbeat, happy person (with way too much energy), so alcohol just tends to kind of level that out and make me more mellow. Then tired. But I will probably turn into a blabbermouth. Which reminds me...earlier I wrote this huge, gut spilling post and, thank God, decided not to post it. I'm kinda' all over the board right now, remember? But I'm just confused and part of the process when I try and figure things out is to write. I just don't know that this needs an audience. We'll see, I don't know.
Later friends
posted by Deb at 9:50 PM
2 Comments:
Sorry about Mom's condition, it seems (at least) that you're doing a good job of dealing with it (like not cracking the bottle of wine).
I'm also predisposed to addiction, my 20's would be testament to that, and the fact no one ever called me by name and I was referred to as Doctor.
Never had a problem with booze though I can take it or leave it, must have something to do with seeing that sort of addiction first hand. Pills on the other hand, yee ha sign me up.
what the hell was my point? Oh yeah i got it, when you have a lot of stress the booze doesn't help much, the problem is still there later, only you feel worse because of the hangover.
(whew), I'm long winded today
Yeah, I'm not going to add to the problems. In my quest to get back on track with my workout plan, booze = loss of motivation.
I'm long winded most days ;)
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