Thursday, March 08, 2007

My day off today and it's pissing rain (again). I'm about to take Linds for her appt. with a psychiatrist...have real mixed feelings about that. I want to do whatever I can to "fix" her and get her back on track. I just know there are so many fuck ups out there that can end up doing more harm than good (like the admin at her school, who initially created this problem and dug this hole she's in). I'm always very wary/selective of who has access to her head...there's nothing "wrong" with her, never has been. And some people take stuff and run with it (school)...completely off course and making things worse. Instead of "listening" they think they've got it all figured out from square one. They don't even know her at all, they're so completely off base. It took three years of battling the school for them to finally come around and listen to my pleas of "I know what's best for her". It took awhile. She's a beautiful person, a "spark" who's been extinguished because she was bullied, betrayed and abandoned during her most formulative years and those who should've been supporting/helping her through that kicked her while she was down (again, thanks school, for nothing). That has impacted her greatly and now we get to clean up the mess that's been made. I know that nothing but time, support and empathy will be the answer here. She needs to learn to trust again...that takes patience. We need to get people in her corner who don't stab her in the back every time she turns around. I just hope this quack "gets" that.

10 Comments:

Anonymous gledwood said...

If it's a good psychiatrist well ... speaks for itself!!

A lot of them are very disappointingly bad as I'm sure you know only too well ... I went through a really bad stage in my v early 20s... psychiatry couldn't do anything much for me though I was v depressed (clinically definitely depressed as well, not just "unhappy" I was v withdrawn etc) ...

Anyway I wish her all the best with whatever they end up doing ...

... I tell you what is meant to be really good is cognitive therapy. Helps you get over "learned helplessness" and helps you stop predicting failure. 2 things depressed people do an awful lot of ...

OK I hope I'm being helpful/supportive and not just stating the obvious here...

take care

Gledsxx

1:11 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

gled...thanks, that's very helpful and we'll explore the cognitive therapy for sure. I'm exploring all options, as this guy was awful...spoke really fast, Linds couldn't even understand him, hardly gave her a word in edgewise and, in the end, wanted her on antidepressants. I want to try other options first, so that's what we're doing. I appreciate the feedback a whole lot.

1:51 PM  
Blogger junky said...

The dude that helped me when I was her age was a damn genius, I suppose the commute for appointments would be killer though.
In Chicago I had some terrible help, like monumental bad, so it's real hit or miss, just find someone that doesn't talk and listens they seem better.
when I was fifteen and had a Rorschach test guess what the only thing I kept seeing was....

4:46 PM  
Blogger whitenoise said...

I sympathize with school and the system. Two of my 3 are special needs. The middle kid needs the help but the oldest seems to be falling into the victim culture. It's becoming an excuse for everything.

My wife accepts everything she's told by the "experts" and it causes a lot of friction when I tell her that I think some of them are full of crap.

7:01 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

junky...it's been mostly "bad" help to date. She's got one really great counsellor that's making a world of difference. And I have a few guesses of what you saw in those inkblots (that's the test, right?). At that age, the possibilities are endless. Maybe something tk posts?

I've always challenged the experts whitenoise. It's probably why my health is suffering now...it's an endless battle. But the school is almost starting to see things from my viewpoint and, after three long years, I'm starting to make progress. I don't go away and they know it. And they know they've dropped the ball.

7:39 PM  
Blogger Barbara Bruederlin said...

I wish both of you the best on this.
We've had to engage a psychologist for our kid for the past several years, and I don't know how much it helps, but after a while she starts begging to the psychologist. Trouble is it's getting increasingly difficult to get appointments. And they are expensive as hell.
Best of luck.

7:45 PM  
Blogger Allison said...

Best of luck to you both. I went to a psychiatrist briefly as a teen, but it really didn't help. Its all about finding the right doctor for you though.

8:32 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

Barb...Linds really looks forward to her sessions with her counsellor. The psychiatrist didn't really connect with her and she thought he was a weirdo (so did I).

Allison...you're right. I think the key is keep weeding through until you get something that "fits".

9:10 PM  
Blogger Toccata said...

I just want to wish you and Linds all the best. Those teen years can be so damn tough. I just love the phrase, "She's a beautiful person, a 'spark'." In the long run I really do believe your being there and believing in her is what will get her through these tough times.

This is hard to write in a clear and concise manner in a comment section but I want you to know that although she might not be in school now and this too might frustrate you it does not mean doors are closed to her. I have worked with so many students that have had to go through a different route and it can be done and no harm done. This is my area and I know I told you before but if you ever need information on anything with regards to schooling short term or long term, please email me.

12:01 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

thanks tc...I very much respect your opinion and I find your input extremely helpful. The ex actually took charge of the "school" situation now (I'd had enough of the game) and we've actually got a couple of courses that she's doing here at home. I'm working more on the self-esteem/happiness end. The concerts together are part of that..."bonding" and staying connected. And her wheelchair basketball helps a lot (she went tonight). I may very well take you up on your offer in the near future, as we're planning for next year soon. Thank you again. I wish all teachers were like you. ;)

12:12 AM  

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