So, What Do You Wanna' Be When You Grow Up?
Shoot for the stars. Aim big. Dare to dream. FINISH YOUR EDUCATION.
(I was picture taking on my drive to Surrey to pick up Ty. This made me think of my daughter, who thinks she can drop out at 15. I'll be showing her one of her career options. It may backfire, she'll probably think this looks "cool", 'cause she's a nutbar)
(I was picture taking on my drive to Surrey to pick up Ty. This made me think of my daughter, who thinks she can drop out at 15. I'll be showing her one of her career options. It may backfire, she'll probably think this looks "cool", 'cause she's a nutbar)
posted by Deb at 2:45 PM
12 Comments:
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Woopsie, commented in the wrong spot.
Anyhow - re this post. Yep, I was right. Showed Linds this pic and what was her reaction?..."that looks cool. I'd do that". Oh dear.
Fuck, don't get me started.
I thought the same thing when I was 17. What does it matter if I drop out? I can make enough money to get by just working some regular minumum wage job, and you know what? That's probably true. Maybe I could have gotten by on some dicky restaraunt job for the rest of my life, but would that have meant that's all I was WORTH?
I did drop out of school. As a matter of fact, I dropped out of high school three times, and by the time I realized how important it was for my own sense of self worth to actually hold that diploma in my hands, I graduated three years behind the rest of my class, and was the only 21 year old in a class of 17 and 18 year olds. If I hadn't graduated, to this day I would still be depressed and suicidal, I would still think I wasn't capable of working that hard or worthy of anything that successful.
But now, I get to look at my grad cap everyday, and I get to remind myself that even though school made me cry every single day, that I was so depressed and hard on myself that I didn't think I could get through anything...but that gritting my teeth brought me to a place where I totally surprised myself, and it was the one thing I needed to help me step out of depression.
I wish I could get your daughter to understand how important getting through school really is. Not even because of the job opportunities it creates and all that monetary stuff, but because of how you feel about yourself on the inside. Because you should be able to look into the future and dream of the most amazing things for yourself, and if you can't get through school, you'll never feel like you can achieve anything. It's so worth it to just stick it out, even though you feel like death everyday and would rather be alone than in a class full of assholes, it's worth it to struggle through it, because whether you can believe it or not, school ends, and there's SO much more to life when school is over.
Obviously this is something that bothers me a lot. I wish your daughter could just get in my head for one day, she's worth so much more than she thinks.
*sigh* Sorry for the super long comment, Deb.
Geez, you're in the same boat as me Deb! Dev is attempting distance education, but we shall see where that takes us. They can do school at home with either paper based courses or internet based courses. He chose Net courses (of course) which is good, cause the paper ones cost more.
If you want to know more about it, let me know. It's at John Oliver Secondary School here in Van. I have my own story of dropping out, and it was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. I did go back, but I wish I had graduated when I was supposed to. I've always felt like I'm years behind where I should be in life. :(
That was the best long comment...thanks. Because I'm going to show it to her - it doesn't seem to have much impact when I say it. Hopefully hearing it from others (closer to her own age) will warrant some attention. She's IN that very depressed (nearly suicidal) state...all the shit we've experienced here isn't help it much. Mom's taken another turn for the worse and it's all affecting Linds in a big way.
We keep trudging along but the school thing is a huge issue right now. Thanks (always) for the continued support. You rock. (Oh, and the Canucks do too right now 'cause we're leading 3-1...wahoo. At least I can temporarily be smiling. See?.... :D )
Okay, your Canucks are kicking ass right now Deb! There's less than 5 minutes left in the 3rd and they're still up 3-1. Looks like they've got this one in the bag!
Anyways, I'd love to be able to say just one thing that gets through to your daughter. I don't know if my piercings and 'hawk make anything I say more relevant (probably not, hey?), but I can say that it was only 2 or 3 years ago when I was suffering with some of the same feelings she has. It took me a long time to be able to switch my thinking from "why is life SO LONG?" to "I have my whole life ahead of me". Whether or not she's on antidepressants (they never worked for me) or getting therapy (I saw tons of psychologists), the most important thing she needs is the ability to tell herself that she's worth it, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about her as long as she knows she kicks ass, and something that I had a hard time coming to terms with: hardships you overcome make you who you are. However fantastic the good things in life are, it's the bad parts that make for strong, creative and intelligent individuals.
I mean, think about it. If nothing bad ever happened to anyone, and we all had shit served to us on a silver platter, the whole world would be packed with Paris Hiltons, and NOBODY wants that (except maybe Paris Hilton).
AND, Vancouver just won. Go you!
OMG how'd I miss your comment, Mel? Thank you so much for the info....I seriously might have to get details from you as we explore options here. I'm so tired I didn't even see your comment. Nothing personal, just I'm blind as a bat tonight.
Thanks Alana. You would be totally relevant to Linds, with your piercings and 'hawk. I take a lot of "heat" for how I'm handling the situation with her - keep hearing about "consequences" for her and "punishing" her..."what, she still gets her internet -we'd take everything away", etc. Yea, that's gonna' make her life better, I'm sure. I'm just trying to be supportive and really listen. The thing with her Dad is helping - connecting with him is huge to her. But her (girl)friends are "mean girls" and I've tried to encourage her to lean more on her boy "friends"....I went through the same at her age. Girls can be such bitches - she's a sweetheart and doesn't have a mean streak in her body....which means she gets eaten alive by these vultures. Some are jealous of her because she does have a lot of guy friends...but, while they try so fucking hard for their attention, she's just being herself. The tomboy in her that dirtbikes and watches hockey also attracts some male attention that her peers flitter their eyelashes for (and aren't getting). I'm just hoping we get through this and can look back at it all with "remember when" stories. I feel for her. She's a very cool individual and I hate to see her wasting away like this.
Wow, talk about the longest of the long comments...my life story (again). You've (both) been very helpful - thanks.
Sorry to be weighing in late here. I think you should show your daughter Alana's comments. It would be meaninful coming from someone close to her own age.
When we were in high school it seemed to go on such a SMALL part of your life. But very critical.
Barbara...agreed. I know the words coming out of my mouth have come to fall on deaf ears and it's simply "nagging" now. I've already shown Linds (my kids) my "cool" new friends (all of you) and Linds was impressed by Alana - the sarcasm, the "look" and the fact that they share a name. It may have more impact coming from someone younger.
Never be sorry for "weighing in" here, at any time. I always look forward to your input.
It would probably help if I reread what I just tried to say though. Bless you if you got the picture from my garbled message. Your daughter probably thinks I'm "special".
You ARE special Barbara. And yes, we did catch what you meant.
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