W A R N I N G: Rant alert.

I was standing in line somewhere yesterday and was subjected to music(?) that quite literally felt like a nail being driven into my brain and made me want to turn and run out of the place (fast and very far). I'm quite sure that I've heard braying donkeys that sound better. Repetitive lyrics that aren't even good to begin with, over and over and OVER AGAIN, don't make for good listening for me. It made me think....what, exactly, is the criteria for some lyricists? Try and string a sentence together (unsuccessfully I might add), then run with it?

Much to my dismay, I see that this song is #6 on Itunes "Top Songs" list. Who thinks so? People without ears? Who's listening to this crap? Deaf people, that's who.

You be the judge...here's the masterpiece (*sighs*).....

party like a rock
party like a rockstar
party like a rock
party like a rockstar
party like a rock
party like a rockstar
party like a rockstar

t-t-t-totally dude!!!!

i'm on a money makin mission
but I party like a rockstar
flyin' down 20 lookin' good in my hot car
you know them hoes be at my show
worried bout where my chain go
I uh rubba in ma pants
but these hoes won't let my thang go

I uwa like I uwa
cuz you know them hoes be tryin us
hoe don't you know I fuck wit fine dimonds
that look like Pa-me-la
they fine and they hot bra
when i'm in the spot bra......
I PARTY LIKE UH ROCKSTAAARRR!!!!!!

[chorus]
y-y-y-yeah, y-y-y-yeah, y-y-y-yeah, y-y-y-yeah

t-t-t-totally dude!!!!

party like a rock
party like a rockstar
party like a rock
party like a rockstar
party like a rock
party like a rockstar
party like a rockstar

t-t-t-totally dude!!!!

iiii...iiii
party like a rockstar
do it wit da black and da white
like a cop car
whoop, whoop,whoop,wha,whoop
me and my band, man
on the yacht relaxin
gettin a tan man
uuwaaa

(cool)you know me
wit a skull belt and wallet chain
shop boyz, rockstars
yeah, we 'bout to change the game
change the game? uh oh
they know that i'm a star
I make it rain from the center of my guitar

[chorus]
y-y-y-yeah, y-y-y-yeah, y-y-y-yeah, y-y-y-yeah

t-t-t-totally dude!!!!

party like a rock
party like a rockstar
party like a rock
party like a rockstar
party like a rock
party like a rockstar
party like a rockstar

t-t-t-totally dude!!!!

as soon as I came out the womb
my momma knew a star was born
now i'm on the golf course
trippin' wit da Osbournes
I seen da show w/travis barker
rockstar mentality
i'm jumpin in the crowd
just to see if they would carry me

bitches wanna marry me
they see me they just might panic
my ice make em go down quick
like the Titanic!
yeah, i'm wit da shop boyz
you know what we do
i'm surfin' screamin' kowabonga
TOTALLY DUDE!!

[chorus]
y-y-y-yeah, y-y-y-yeah, y-y-y-yeah, y-y-y-yeah

t-t-t-totally dude!!!!

party like a rock
party like a rockstar
party like a rock
party like a rockstar
party like a rock
party like a rockstar
party like a rockstar

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

First of all, if I was to hear this on a record player, I'd be pushin' the needle over to get it to stop skipping.

Now let's break it down here a little bit:

"totally dude"

Don't steal Allison's shit guys. Copyright, o.k.?

* * *

"you know them hoes be at my show
worried bout where my chain go
I uh rubba in ma pants
but these hoes won't let my thang go"

Get over yourself already.
And I think you made me pee mine.

* * *

"I uwa like I uwa
cuz you know them hoes be tryin us
hoe don't you know I fuck wit fine dimonds
that look like Pa-me-la
they fine and they hot bra
when i'm in the spot bra....."

?????????
translation please
(is there a beluga whale in the house?)

* * *

"iiii...iiii
party like a rockstar
do it wit da black and da white
like a cop car
whoop, whoop,whoop,wha,whoop
me and my band, man
on the yacht relaxin
gettin a tan man
uuwaaa"

"whoop, whoop, whoop, wha, whoop"
what the fuck was that?

* * *

"(cool)you know me
wit a skull belt and wallet chain
shop boyz, rockstars
yeah, we 'bout to change the game
change the game? uh oh
they know that i'm a star
I make it rain from the center of my guitar"

"skull belt/wallet chain"...puh-LEASE. My six year old had those. So 1994.

* * *

"as soon as I came out the womb
my momma knew a star was born
now i'm on the golf course
trippin' wit da Osbournes
I seen da show w/travis barker
rockstar mentality
i'm jumpin in the crowd
just to see if they would carry me"

was OJ with you by any chance? Too bad he didn't kill this song instead of those people.

She shoulda shoved you back in. (Did I really just say that?)

* * *

"bitches wanna marry me
they see me they just might panic
my ice make em go down quick
like the Titanic!
yeah, i'm wit da shop boyz
you know what we do
i'm surfin' screamin' kowabonga"

Dude, if your pick up line is "cowabunga" (note: sp), then I can only imagine the "bitches" you get. Are they cold, slimy and green by any chance?

* * *

Wow, wasn't that something?

If you're looking to get out of work today, put this on, give yourself a migraine and call in sick. I have to go now, my ears are bleeding.