Monday, November 12, 2012


A lot is going on in my life lately...not so much in a daily activity or event way, but emotionally and internally. Age is likely the culprit and is making me feel things so deeply and pronounced. I want to scream at drivers on the road (no, change that - throw shovels at them), cry over TV commercials, and worry about every single little thing imaginable. I know, I know - I've always done these things but it's more intense and pronounced now. Crippling at times. I'm just really coming to understand how my life has unfolded (unraveled) and I feel the need to take the reins and charge in a different direction. So much has brought me here - to this place of uncertainty, fear and helplessness that I'm stuck in at times. Like sludge that won't allow me to move. But I can't stay stuck here forever and owe it to my kids to find some answers. Heavy, but this part's just for me. A secret place like a big tree that I can sit under with a friend, trying to figure out
what the hell this life is all about.